How to Annoy Me When Eating

[in no particular order]

1. Slurp.
2. Inhale deeply while you take a bite of your food or a sip of your beverage/soup, as if you can help your food into your mouth by breathing it in.
3. Make smacking noises as you chew, preferably with your mouth open.
4. Smack your lips after each bite, or when you finish your meal.
5. Move your food around your mouth with lots of liquid so we can hear it moving around.
6. Groan about the food's goodness.
7. Breathe through your mouth while you chew. [You are exempt if you have a head cold.]
8. Chomp down really hard so I can hear your teeth clash together.

As a general rule, make any and all noises possible.

[Eating is a personal action, people. Keep it to yourself. I don't want to hear about it. Thanks.]